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Can My Love Life Be Helped? - Really Try To Determine What You Really Are Doing Incorrectly
I've been counseling folks for 35 years. Quite often people come in for help wondering if it's really possible to save or improve their love life.
Maybe their partner is totally uninterested in working on the relationship. Perhaps their partner is an alcoholic or substance abuser. What are their odds of saving their relationship?
Because two individuals always get together at their common level of woundedness, here is what I say to the mate who has sought my help:
As long as you choose to stay in this relationship, there are things for you to learn. Each and every partner contributes their 100% to the romantic relationship. When it really is often easy to see what your partner is doing that's harmful to the relationship, it's often difficult to see what you are doing.
But, until you learn about your part in this romantic relationship system, you'll take your own dysfunctional behavior with you into a different relationship. It is commonly a waste of time - unless there is physical abuse - to leave a romantic relationship before healing your own end of the system.
The time to leave is when you have learned to make yourself content no matter what your mate is doing. Whenever you learn to take 100% responsibility for your own personal feelings and needs, and if your partner is still behaving in ways that happen to be unacceptable to you, then it's time to leave.
You'll want to discover how to respond to your partner in ways that are loving to yourself and that support your own personal joy and highest good.
When the dating partner who's available to counseling does their inner work, one of two things occurs. Either the other partner likes what exactly is happening and becomes more open, or the relationship becomes much more distant and difficult.
I tell my clients that it is a 50-50 deal - half the time things get much better and half the time they get worse. They have to be okay with either result. Actually, I make them let go of the outcome and be in the process of learning the best way to take loving care of themselves.
Can your love life be helped? Maybe. Do your own personal inner work and find out! Or you can do what most guys do. Most guys get girl advice on the web from dating guru's like mystery pua and his successful mystery method.
Love and educate yourself so you can do exactly the same for others.
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